How far must we go until love is exhausted? Further than one can fathom in a single day.
I am watching a friend struggle and I am seated at a great distance away. I wish we could get there or that we could bring this friend closer, but patience does not fail. I wince with every new injury and I sigh with new tears. But he’s alive and so I’m still happy.
I know about addiction. Although chemical dependency has not been my field of struggles, I know about darkness. I know about being alone. I know about feeling like you’re in a hell, and somehow the world continues on without noticing your struggle or you. I know about sinking. I know what it’s like to have good advice and good intentions being your prisons walls. I know about fear, hopelessness, persevance, anxiety attackes, lonely walks, bouncing prayers, the endlessness of days and nights blurring together. I know about these things, and I do not fear them like I once did.
I know I can look back know and see a spirit within me that was fighting things other people couldn’t see. There was a spirit in me that was fighting when my body was being wasted with bad choices, bad mindsets. Freedom was calling me, and something within me dragged me to place in need to get to in order to begin healing and rehabilating my empty shell. I don’t know how I made it through alive, when I look back, except that there was a spirit within me that wanted more than I’d yet experienced at that point.
I made it.
I made it to today. I’ve made to the point of both compassion and hard love. A place where I can remember my story, and understand the persevance has given more than the gift of life, but perspective and character as well. I need these traits as I walked into a new chapter of my life.
I need perspective and character as I watch another friend struggle in a place far off that we can’t yet get to. I need to know how I, myself, made it out alive and how I can believe that same spirit can bring life to another. I need to know that even prayers that seem to bounce off the ceiling make some difference. I need to know this journey is a long one, and I can pace myself for the long haul. Because that’s what Love is capable of. It’s not just a distant prayer, but love is also joining one in their suffering.
We wrestle not against addicts and broken men, but against principalities and powers of the dark world. We wrestle because Love compels us to know “the least of these” is the face of Jesus. If there’s a chance that love can make the difference, then I am compelled to share the love I have for one who looks, to me, like Jesus. Maybe it’s not the miracle we’re looking for right now, but maybe its a first step. I think I can do that.
Come home. You are loved.