I am a fairly reflective person. I like to know where I’m going partly by understanding where I’ve been. Things don’t always make sense in the moment that we go through them, but that doesn’t mean that they will always be a mystery. Sometimes understanding how people treat me means I have to understand a bit about that person without them telling me.
People don’t always look back to understand. Some people live in the past and some people intentionally forget the past, or maybe don’t forget it but merely remember it begrudgingly with all emotions intact. Most of my past I remember with the emotions I felt as I went through the different things, for good or for bad, but at the same time I can know that was then and I don’t have to feel that way now. I can look back and see thing with a different perspective IF I choose to. …or I can wallow.
There’s one specific chapter in the whole Bible that is know for being “the Love chapter” where it describes characteristics of what Love is truly like. It’s 1 Corinthians chapter 13 (Lucky 13, right?). While there’s a lot to comment on about this, I’m going point out the very last part of this chapter which isn’t so much about Love as it is about realizing our individual perspectives are only a small part to the great holistic picture.
There’s this one little bitty sentence that I love, and which is usually overlooked and not taught on, but I love it:
“When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. “
I love this verse for some very simple reasons. It speaks of fearlessness. It speaks of healthy growth and change and something new to look forward too. It speaks of living in the right time and enjoying it. Lots of people will make growing up sound terrible. They will dread, and drag their feet, and whine & whimper and honestly… I think a lot of people don’t know how to enjoy adulthood. I feel a little bit sorry for those people. Only a little bit because it’s their choice to act like that.
I’ve seen terrible examples of people who would not grow up in many important areas of their life, and therefore acted selfish and treated other people terribly. I’ve seen watched people ruin their lives because they would not take advice or counsel, but licked their wounds and remained childish and allowed stunned maturity in their lives for decades. …or even until death. I’ve seen people who would not put away their childish thinking ruin others lives. The sadness is beyond words.
We are not victims. We are not who we once were. We are who we choose to be for today and tomorrow, for this all we can now choose.
There’s is a fearlessness that must come into play so that we may put our childish ways behind us, and so that we might step forward into adulthood. I maybe one of the rare few people you’ll meet who truly can enjoy adulthood and growing up. I do not shrink from another year. New Year’s Eve/Day is my favorite holiday, for I am ever-thirsty to find out what is before me and to hope anew. I do not fear what I do not know. I am thirsty for it.
I’ve long felt inside me a longing and that I am missing someone(s) and somethings I have not yet known, but my spirit knows them. I have enduringly prayed for great friends, community, my husband, and the many hundreds (thousands?) of lives we may impact. …but I am sure we have not meet yet. My husband I have met! And my heart knew him as soon as we first spoke for I’d long been praying for him years before and God revealed it to my heart instantly when first spoke. It was an amazing moment. I know there are many other people I still miss but have yet meet because I’ve prayed for them too for years. This compels me forward. My heart longs for them. There is so much ahead, things I cannot explain but I am sure of. My spirit compels me forward.
Growing up is great! I have so much to look forward to. There’s work to be done. There’s adventure to be found and lives to be lived, and fear to be drive out with love. I am so excited! I am thankful that God and I and my husband get to build this time of faithfulness together, although we hope for the future and were we might be soon, we are still thankful for this time.